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So many times, it happens too fast...you trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive.

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2y 11m 25d

Internal Void

Posted by BoMToons - January 4th, 2011

Do you ever get a feeling of emptiness around this time of year?

I feel what equates to writer's block in relation to many things I want to accomplish, I know what needs to be done, but can't seem to bring myself to get in gear.

I want to exercise, but can't get off the couch.

All I want to do is eat terribly unhealthy food and desserts even though that's all I've been doing over the holidays.

I find it extremely frustrating that it gets dark outside before the end of my work day.

I finally watched the last season of Lost.

I have a nagging dry cough that sometimes brings up disgusting chunks of flem, and other times is so relentless it makes me feel like I'm having a brain aneurysm.

On an intellectual level I know I have many things to be happy about, but I'm just not feeling it emotionally.

Newgrounds, can you get me out of my nasty emo funk?

Internal Void

Comments (20)




:( :(

Drink more. I think during my last 2 month slump, I've destroyed my liver.

maybe I should start drinking, I hear that's good for depression

this winter blues used to always happen to me, I just stop letting affect me through WILLPOWER.

(also, lol that Seasonal Affective Disorder acronym is SAD.)

I will make a commitment to do something productive tomorrow

I have been digging in my left arm for weeks and I havent found it yet. Are you sure you didn't mean my right arm??

better do both just to be sure

Man I feel like I could write a book about this... I've been trying to pinpoint specific triggers for my personal ups and downs, blaming a lot of it on seasons (winter) but realizing it isn't exactly specific to a season... I think sometimes you just hit a wall with your projects, or you finish a major project, and you're left in a rut where you're not quite sure what to do next - looking for the next big idea but you know you can't create it out of thin air. Also, because we have the desire to always outdo ourselves, each new idea is a bigger commitment than the last, and you have to look at your life and decide if the timing is right for such an undertaking....

I had some injuries in 2010 that kept me from being able to run, which made it harder for me to relieve stress, which made the stress keep compounding on me... But then I got a running brace and was finally able to start running again, so these past few weeks I've been trying to just beat the crap out of myself with running and other exercises... I feel like I need to be in optimal shape to take on big projects, because they can become physically draining when they end up consuming you. Plus exercise always seems to be the key to everything - when you exercise, you WANT to eat better, and once you break the sugar habit it's easier to stay away.

I'll suggest some of these things:

1) Search Amazon.com for Yogalosophy and buy Mandy Ingber's Yogalosophy Workout DVD. In fact consider this an ASSIGNMENT and report back to me on what you think after doing it a few times. It's probably not the greatest workout video of all time but it happens to be the one April bought and I always feel great after doing it.

2) Take up a Greek Yogurt habit like all the magazines have been talking about. I buy Stonyfield Farm's Oikos Greek Yogurt with with blueberries or honey on the bottom. Eat 2-3 of these a day.

3) My perfect morning goes like this: I eat a Greek yogurt, run for 30 minutes, do the Yogalosophy DVD, then eat steel cut oatmeal with cinnamon sprinkled on it. It always feels like the right way to start the day out and I sleep better at night. I think it's actually recommended to exercise in the early evening, but that doesn't fit my schedule as well since I can't break myself away from work for anything other than some family time at night.

Oops out of space to write more.

It seems like releasing a finished project is a lot like a drug. So, like you say, having to one-up yourself and create increasingly more complex stuff means the drug-fixes get further and further apart, and if something is ambitious enough, the nagging thought that it will NEVER be done can become overwhelming. Then you start piling multiple ambitious ventures together and the withdrawl becomes tangible.

I definitely need to break the sugar cycle and stop using being "sick" as an excuse to avoid exercise.

I'll also take on that yogalosophy assignment and see what it does for me.

Thanks for the detailed response. I'm feeling better already :-D

Go F''' yourself
(just kidding)

I think your are on to something with the trying to top yourself over and over again. You want to do that next huge project every time. After doing a gamejam and a Christmas game in a month I'm really rejuvenated and ready to keep working but before that I have been in a real slump.

Perhaps you need to work on a 1 or 2 week game project and get a quick fix or something. And I'm almost done with the larger project you wanted me to do so that's good news.

I just signed up for a park district gym to go get some exercise too, I think it's important. I've been working at home making flash games for a year now and it's been rough. I've learned a lot about myself and the key is to learn your trigger points for burnout and when you see the warning signs don't panic.

Don't try to work harder or focus more... that will just speed the process along. You have to realize that everything in nature is cyclical. The tide comes in and goes out, rocks are slowly sliding around the surface of the earth and will eventually return to magma a billion years from now.

Creativity is also cyclical you just need to embrace when you can't get stuff done in flash games and get stuff done in other areas. From what I have learned, nothing helps you reach a goal faster than reaching other goals.

So you want to finish your game but you have hit a wall? Go take an art class, learn glass blowing, write a story, work on your interpersonal relationships, exercise, anything that is a personal goal of yours will start that ball rolling.

And getting it rolling again feels good, but you have to build momentum up for your attitude to be able to tackle a large project. A kid can approach a project with a great attitude and get into it not knowing what to expect, then attitude quickly dissipates when they realize it isn't as easy as it looks.

You know what is involved and how much work it is and you love doing it and want to WANT to be working. But the switch is in off mode. It's the other end of the spectrum. So... perhaps try getting around people with that can do attitude, can start to rub off on you.

And if none of that works, just remember it's cyclical and it will come back in time, and sometimes time is the only thing that really works to break the funk. Anyway, don't be down, every artist has slumps just trust they serve a purpose whether you know what it is or not.

Thanks for the advice. I know creativity isn't an "on tap" kind of thing, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.

I think you're right that obsessing over it is a downward spiral and breaking out and treating myself right in other areas will help refresh my mental browser.


i'm brazilian


nah bom don't drink your here for a reason to express your talent with us humans but one thing i must say "if you put your talents into good use the light of the door opens a path."but you know people like eammy have no rights of your "you live your life don't follow the ignorance." and plus in this picture i looked and its very true. indeed but stay strong there is still hope.some might not know because most of them are like what is pathoflife talking about I'll explain lifestyle yeah may take us down but we know one thing love is valuable through struggling times
p.s. i hope you feel well soon bom.
signed by path

are you saying I'm not human?

well i tried being wise and i left you a very positive comment.

I can see that!

So many times, it happens too fast...you trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, you must fight just to keep them alive.

good...no GREAT advice :::::))))))))

I know that feeling very well. I strongly suggest a long-term use of dietary supplements such as Omega-3 with high levels of EPA (take twice the bottle's/package's noted recommended amount of Omega-3 capsules), Roseroot (Rhodiola Rosea) and Ginseng extract. Also, look at an UV-filtered light source for at least about 15-30 minutes a day, but by simply going outside when the sun is still up for 15-30 minutes a day will do wonders and is preferable. Take a break from work if needed, You'll probably work more effectively afterwards too. A simple exercise done indoors is enough to get started, like push-ups. Do only a few reps first and increase the amount each day or week. Keep it up :)

thanks for the tips :)

cheer up bomtoons

..i hope he fell for it

I'll never fall for your shenanigans

Another good way out of a funk is imagining Tom doing old 80's workout videos. I would love to see a Tom Fulp's Sweating to the Oldies. Or hecht sweating to the audio portal. If the store had that I'd buy a copy.

I think this idea should be advanced in the NG office

Okay, I'll go ahead and cut my own left arm off. Will you pay for the damage costs?

the freedom is payment in itself

You should try mediation, no but really man , Im sometimes angry to myself because I don`t spend much time on meditation, but when I did, I feel really good.
You can try to do it before sleeping and when you woke up.
It is the best time.

ok, I'll give it a try

I AM FREE! I FOUND IT AND GOT IT OUT! YaY! :D Thanks bomtoons!

That last season of Lost left me lost a while... :/ Being the not-very-religious person I am (I assume that's why) it left me feeling like it was all for nothing, that the island didn't really exist, that all the intrigue and adventure they had been through was just a way for them to find a way out, not a way out for the audience, a conclusion the whole world would be able to perceive, within and without the series. Maybe you had a better impression though?

As for that winter slump, though it may not be relevant any longer: D vitamin! When there's no sun, no warmth, no life in the barren void outside the windows... that one supplement seems to bestow some kind of optimism! I do envy the people who live in those parts of the world where there is no winter though. I do like the snow, but that darkness...

I don't think anyone liked the end of Lost. They did a good job of making it seem like there would be some connection between everything, and then totally dropped the ball.

Yeah, diet and exercise makes a huge difference in the seasonal affective disorder.

Even for religious people huh. Hearing the ending of Lost was a large disappointment even from a devoted Christian would be... the potential proof it really was a bad ending, not just perspective-based perception! Do you happen to be a believer yourself btw?

Ha ha, yeah, huge disappointment for everyone regardless of faith! If you look at my early games here on NG you'll know what religion I claim! :-)